‘Wake the Wicked’ Now On Google Play!

Order Google Play

I hadn’t planned for this to be one of my big news posts, but when someone asked me last night if my book, Wake the Wicked, was available on Google Books, and it wasn’t, I needed to make some changes.

With the rising growth of Google Play, I thought, “How could Wake the Wicked not be a part of the store?” I wasted no time in putting my swamp rats to work. And now, after only a few laborious hours, I’m happy to announce it’s arrival to the book store! Click HERE, or the big Google Play image, to order now.

Special thanks to Maureen for the suggestion!

Don’t have Google Play? Here are a few other places to order from:

Kindle | Nook |  KoboiBooks | Google Play | Paperback | Espresso Book Machine

PROOF EVERYTHING ONLINE IS TRUE

Aileen Wuornos Reading BookHow Do You Know If What You Read Online Is Legit? 

Come on! There’s no denying that everything you read, see, watch and hear on the Internet is true. You hear me? It’s all facts. Nasty rumors and deceit can’t be spit out across the Internet like the wild spread of “Black Death” in Europe. They just can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true. Where did I hear that? The Internet. Read More …

But what about those whiny, impulsive, vitriolic tirades I see on the net, people publicly shaming one another? They aren’t, as one might think, just desperate attempts by lonely harpies to deceive others, to compensate for the love they didn’t receive from their parents—a wound that drives them to attempt to fill emptiness with the satisfaction of revenge. Certainly not.

In general, opinions are considered to be subjective. However, there is a special rule. Once written online, opinions become facts. Apart from the Internet providing this information, how in satan’s great garden of fire do we know this is true?

I have more proof!

That’s right. Take a look at the gallery below. I’ve assembled this rare collection of celebrities, historical and religious figures, animals, and more, all reading Wake the Wicked: Thirteen Twisted Tales, before it was even published. Take a look and read on.

But how is this proof? Couldn’t this be one of those fancy-schmancy hoaxes?

Well, most of the Greats above were dead long before “Wake the Wicked: Thirteen Twisted Tales” was written, edited, and published. True. So, I commissioned the most notorious time-traveling paparazzi I could find to journey back in time, track down each Great, and present them my book. Once they had it in their possession it was a waiting game with only two outcomes: they’d either start reading the book or chuck it to the curb.

Sometimes, as these brave paparazzi warriors later told me, they had to prowl for days in trees and bushes, inside bedroom closets and under musky basement stairs; they drank stale rain water and ate nothing but rat droppings, sock lint and acorns till they got “The Shot!”

And, as one can imagine, the book wasn’t everybody’s cup of poison-laced tea. I mean, did you see some of the photos above? Mommie Dearest, for example, was not impressed. I should have known. She’s way too sophisticated for such juvenile entertainment. I can’t wait to read the review though. I have a feeling it’ll be suffocated by ten-cent words and trite adverbs.  I better get the popcorn ready now before the fireworks start. My bad. On the other hand, Mickey Mouse and Morticia Addams appeared to “get it” right away.

See, there’s no denying that everything you read is wisdom from the gods. If the internet says it’s true, if trolls say it’s true, and the photos above show it’s true—it’s true. Gone aren’t the days of common sense and well researched knowledge. The Internet is one giant source of factual information.

April Fools!

Hope you had as many laughs checking out these hoaxes as I did making them.

Never forget: online gossip blazes like wildfire and Tu Stultus Es if you believe it’s all accurate.

‘Wake the Wicked’ One Year Anniversary!

Wake the Wicked Eyes Opening CoverOne year ago yesterday, on December 21, 2012, “Wake the Wicked: Thirteen Twisted Tales” was first published in eBook format!

There’s no better time than this to extend my sincerest thanks to those who have supported and brought this incredible endeavor to life.

To those who attended the book signing, wrote insightful reviews to help potential readers, suggested the book to others, or read the book out of morbid curiosity, I thank you! I could’ve never imagined how successful this bizarre collection of short stories would become.

I’ve learned more than I could’ve imagined on this yearlong roller coaster ride and it’s made me as passionate about story telling as ever!

Thank you again for creeping along with me, dear reader. I look forward to many more years of success. Stay tuned.